Who am I, a sinner, a saint, or both? Yes, I would say so. I am both at various times. I am not a Minister, Preacher, Pastor or whatever other title you might want to apply to it. I am simply a man that gave up.
I gave up because I didn’t want to ever go through the experience I had been through again, ever. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes I had been making for years. I didn’t want to be the cause of anyone else hurting because of my mistakes.
Giving up can mean a lot of things to a single person, giving up on dating, on men, on women, on life in general, becoming hard hearted and guarded not allowing anyone in that could cause us pain anymore.
The kind of giving up I am talking about is control. I was in complete control of my life when things unraveled and I became alone again. I wasn’t relying on God for any of the decisions I was making, all of my actions were my own.
I am sure it doesn’t make sense that I would give up during one of the roughest times of my life but that is exactly what God was telling me to do. The idea went completely against every thought and emotion I had at the time. Giving up was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to fix the hurt, fix the situation, fix whatever I could so all of it would go away and life could be normal again. But giving up was the answer and I fought Him every step of the way.
I had grown so use to making snap decisions about business and any other thing that if felt I was in complete control of my life and I didn’t want to let go. Little did I know what I perceived to be control was just chaos in disguise. What looked to be a normal life like everyone else was an illusion of my own creation.
Mathew 11:29-30 –NIV- Jesus says “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Jesus said His burden is light. I made it hard, He didn’t. I was the one making my life difficult trying to make everything fit into this perfect little box called life. I chased everything in this world I could get my hands on. Money was my idol and preferred thing to run after, for what? It never brought me peace.
All my lust, greed, envy, jealousy, hate, anger, selfishness, pride and control ever created, was a life not worthy of Him. He created everything, why in the world would I think I would be able to create a perfect life for myself outside of His instruction and will. I couldn’t do it. All those things brought me was a broken, hardened heart.
I gave up. I gave up trying to find the perfect woman. I gave up trying to create a life that keeps up with the Joneses. I gave up trying to be something other than what He created me for.
My prayer is for you to give up also. It’s not quitting on life, far from it, it’s the most peaceful thing you can do. Does it seem strange to give up your control? Absolutely, but He has bigger plans for you than you could ever imagine on your own. It gives you a sense of purpose for your life, direction and plans worth pursuing.
He created it all why not give up trying to chase after small bits and pieces of something when He wants to give you so much more.
Join our Facebook Group!
Timothy 4:1-2-NIV- The spirit clearly says that in later time some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.
This type of teaching has been going on for the last 50 or 60 years. The area I am speaking of is when the term women use by saying they are strong, independent women. If you look at the term you may think there is nothing wrong with it but where did it come from?
In the 60’s feminist started shouting that they didn’t need a man because they were strong, independent women. They started making demands of equality and independence and have continued to this day.
During that time men were falling away from being the leaders of the family God told them to be. The combination of these two things has created a great divide between men and women.
So what is the problem with the term or what is wrong with a woman being strong and independent? Being independent is the problem.
1 Corinthians 11:11-12 –NIV- In the Lord, however, a woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as a woman came from a man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.
Society has taken this term and made women independent of God. Women need to be strong but we, men and women, have to be dependent on God first. We are not separate, like the verse says, woman from man, man from woman, both from God.
Over the generations since, the constant shouting has become the norm. Generations of children were born not knowing the term was wrong. So, consequently when they hear the term they believe it to be true and it becomes part of society.
The results of this incorrect teaching is generations of women who believe they don’t need a man, they don’t have to listen to a man, respect a man or be submissive to a man. (Yes, I said the horrible submissive word, but that’s another blog post.) We have a divorce rate that is completely out of control, both in and out of the church. It goes completely against how God designed men and women to be.
Mark 10:8-9-NIV- For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one.
That verse alone tells us we can’t be independent of each other. The two become one flesh and they are no longer two, but one. Marriages can’t survive when you have one or the other trying to be independent of the other. We were designed to be together, not independent of each other.
How do we change it? We both have to get back into the Bible. Men have to step back up to be the leaders God intended men to be. Women have to get into the Bible and learn to be God-fearing women.
Satan will continue to try to deceive us with things of the world. We have to learn what the Bible says to fight what society is telling us is right, not only for ourselves but also for the next generations.
In my previous blog, I wrote about the feminist movement and how women basically decided they weren’t going to put up with men treating them the way they were being treated. They became strong and independent in raising their children by themselves.
I was a kid during this shift in the pendulum from men being in control and doing pretty much whatever they wanted to do. I remember hearing people talk about men leaving their wives and children for another woman or just leaving all together just because they could. Definitely not being the leaders God called them to be.
At the beginning of the swing, I am sure some men were angry and confused by the change in the women that was occurring. Women were no longer going to tolerate men’s behavior and decided they didn’t need them.
With that shift of the women getting stronger, it carried over into the way they were raising their children. As time went on it became the norm for women to be strong and independent. Men seemed to conform to this new way of women being stronger.
The problem with this is the pendulum didn’t stop in the middle where men and women are equal and became teammates in life and one flesh the way God instructs us to be. No, the pendulum kept moving to the other side. Now women are in the role men held in the 60’s and 70’s and it’s not any better than it was back then, the roles are just reversed.
The main thing I hear from women over and over, is men need to step up and lead. Sounds good, but the part they are leaving out is they want them to lead the way they want them to not the way God instructs them to. Yes, there are some women who read the Bible and know what it says about how men are supposed to lead their wives and love their wives, but they really can’t tell you what the Bible says they are supposed to be doing. As long as the man is doing his part they don’t have to. An example of this just tells one of them they are supposed to submit and the fight is on.
Women tell me they want men to lead and when I asked, where they get their information about men or learn about men, they tell me they get their information from Cosmo. Really, you are getting your information from a magazine or from other women on how things are supposed to work with men and women? And how is that going to help a man lead you?
You may wonder how I know the pendulum has shifted the other way and is now at its peak and shifting back. Instead of men leaving their wives and children, it’s women leaving their husbands and children. Yes, mothers are leaving their children to be with other men.
Men actually are stepping up, just not the way women want them to. Another example is men fighting for custody of their children and winning. Several years ago you wouldn’t have heard of a Father getting full custody of his children in court over the Mother, just didn’t happen, children needed their Mother the courts would say, but the fathers are winning full custody.
I know this personally. I endured the 2-year custody battle, walked a fine line, didn’t go on any dates, did whatever I had to do to get custody of my son and I did. She pays me child support, which was not something I was wanting, I would have paid her just to have my son, but that was unheard of a few years ago.
Some men are stepping up and being the leader God wants them to be, it’s just not the way women are wanting. Men are actually going fishing, hunting, working on cars or just playing in general rather than tolerate women’s behavior and decided they don’t need them. I have spoken to several angry, confused women that don’t understand what is going on with men. Sound familiar?
As Christian’s, we have to be aware of this shift and make sure it stops in the middle, balanced the way God intended it to be from the beginning. Both together as one flesh.
Write to Tim
Join our Facebook!